how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
