I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
