you would pick up someone in the library
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
