bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
