if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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