Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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