Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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