Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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