Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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