btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I skipped work to stalk him.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
