So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
