Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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