walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
a search helicopter?!
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
