it wasn't lemon gatorade
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize