Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
