suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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