I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
