This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
