I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
