It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
