i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
