I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
