I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
