Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
