the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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