I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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