Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
