I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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