we have pet lesbian snakes
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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