Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
