Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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