the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
