Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
