he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
