And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
