I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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