im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
