Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
