Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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