During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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