remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
