Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
