Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
