I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
