We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
