Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
