also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
