That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
