I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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