Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
