u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
