You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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