Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
