These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
